The Tourist Industry

DEAR QUEEN: I have been dancing all my life and always wanted to perform. The time is coming where i must make decisions about auditions for companies etc. I used to love the thought of travelling on tour but now im hesitant to leave my home and boyfriend. Its not that im worried that it wouldnt work out, weve been together for a long time and im sure we could handle it, its just that im not sure whether or not i'd be happy being away from him and my family for so long... -Any advice?


DEAR ANYADVICE: This is an issue that just about every dancer faces, and it's not easy. I, myself, have had to make difficult choices between my family, boyfriend, and dance career. And I still have to make those choices every time a new opportunity arises. While I cannot tell you whether or not you should pursue a dance career, I can give you some things to think about. 


If you pursue a career in dance, you will be met with a lot of failure and rejection [unless you are Anna Pavlova or Isadora Duncan, in which case you can expect a tragic death by scarf.] Do you love dance with such a passion that you cannot imagine doing anything else? If not, this career path might not be worth all the heartache. If the answer is yes, continue on to the next thought...


Once your career starts rolling, you will have no spare time or energy. Not a square to spare. Your time will be taken up with rehearsals aka your job, serving food/drinks at a restaurant aka your second job, technique classes to maintain your dance training, yoga/pilates, and sleeping. More sleeping than you ever thought possible. Your bedtime with start creeping up so early that you find yourself eating dinner at 5pm so you can be asleep by 8:30pm. Well, that's my experience anyway. Be prepared for this because it can take a toll on your other relationships if you are not careful. 


Lastly, going on tour is INCREDIBLE! Being in a foreign city and traveling, rehearsing, and performing night after night is exhilarating. There is no equivalent. However, you will be gone for weeks, even months at a time, during which it is almost impossible to communicate with family and friends due to time differences and vigorous tour schedules. I was lucky; my boyfriend came to visit me in Spain on my last tour and it was absolutely wonderful. But this is not the norm. Can you handle being separated from your boyfriend and family for long periods of time? Is your boyfriend ok with that? 


You should figure out how YOU feel about these issues and then discuss them with your boyfriend and family. There is no right or wrong answer; only what is right for you.


-pbShrink