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DEAR QUEEN: I have been dancing all my life and always wanted to perform. The time is coming where i must make decisions about auditions for companies etc. I used to love the thought of travelling on tour but now im hesitant to leave my home and boyfriend. Its not that im worried that it wouldnt work out, weve been together for a long time and im sure we could handle it, its just that im not sure whether or not i'd be happy being away from him and my family for so long... -Any advice?
DEAR ANYADVICE: This is an issue that just about every dancer faces, and it's not easy. I, myself, have had to make difficult choices between my family, boyfriend, and dance career. And I still have to make those choices every time a new opportunity arises. While I cannot tell you whether or not you should pursue a dance career, I can give you some things to think about.
If you pursue a career in dance, you will be met with a lot of failure and rejection [unless you are Anna Pavlova or Isadora Duncan, in which case you can expect a tragic death by scarf.] Do you love dance with such a passion that you cannot imagine doing anything else? If not, this career path might not be worth all the heartache. If the answer is yes, continue on to the next thought...
Once your career starts rolling, you will have no spare time or energy. Not a square to spare. Your time will be taken up with rehearsals aka your job, serving food/drinks at a restaurant aka your second job, technique classes to maintain your dance training, yoga/pilates, and sleeping. More sleeping than you ever thought possible. Your bedtime with start creeping up so early that you find yourself eating dinner at 5pm so you can be asleep by 8:30pm. Well, that's my experience anyway. Be prepared for this because it can take a toll on your other relationships if you are not careful.
Lastly, going on tour is INCREDIBLE! Being in a foreign city and traveling, rehearsing, and performing night after night is exhilarating. There is no equivalent. However, you will be gone for weeks, even months at a time, during which it is almost impossible to communicate with family and friends due to time differences and vigorous tour schedules. I was lucky; my boyfriend came to visit me in Spain on my last tour and it was absolutely wonderful. But this is not the norm. Can you handle being separated from your boyfriend and family for long periods of time? Is your boyfriend ok with that?
You should figure out how YOU feel about these issues and then discuss them with your boyfriend and family. There is no right or wrong answer; only what is right for you.
-pbShrink
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Stinky Situations
DEAR QUEEN: I have a good friend who stinks. Literally, he smells. I often feel embarassed going out in public with him because we get funny looks. I would like to tell my friend without hurting his feelings...any ideas?-I'm with smelly
DEAR WITHSMELLY: This is a delicate situation. Body odour is a difficult subject to bring up, similar to boogers in the nose and plumber's butt. People are very sensitive about their bodies--how they look, how they smell, etc.
In your friend's case, there are three possible causes for the chronic smell.
The first is poor hygiene. In this instance there is very little you can do, short of saying something like, "Man, it's so hot this summer that sometimes I have to shower twice a day because I sweat so much. How about you?" Either your friends will tell you that he or she does not shower much, in which case you can encourage him or her to shower more often, OR your friend will lie but realize that he or she should be cleansing regularly.
The second is deodourant that is too weak. Some men and women sweat so much and so hard that run of the mill deodourant doesn't cut it. In this instance you can make a comment about how you sweat so much that you need to wear prescription deodourant [yes, it exists] and ask if your friend has over experienced that problem. It is always easier to admit to something embarrassing if you're not standing out there alone with your shame, not that body odour is shameful.
The third scenario has to do with eating habits. If your friend eatis a lot of curry, garlic, onions, and the like, this can cause him to emanate the scent of those foods. Next time you are with your friend, ask if he had curry/garlic/onions for dinner the night before. Make a joke of it, "Ya, I could tell. That stuff has a strong smell haha. Don't worry, I smell like curry for days after eating Indian food."
No matter which of the three categories your friend falls into, this will be a difficult subject to broach. Whether or not you feel comfortable bringing it up depends on how close you are to your friend and how sensitive he or she is. If you do not feel comfortable talking about it, you only have two options:
1. Suffer through the smell [and perhaps do not hang out with your friend in groups so others do not think that you are the source of the bad smell.]
2. Stop hanging out with your stinky friend.
Good luck--pbSrink
DEAR WITHSMELLY: This is a delicate situation. Body odour is a difficult subject to bring up, similar to boogers in the nose and plumber's butt. People are very sensitive about their bodies--how they look, how they smell, etc.
In your friend's case, there are three possible causes for the chronic smell.
The first is poor hygiene. In this instance there is very little you can do, short of saying something like, "Man, it's so hot this summer that sometimes I have to shower twice a day because I sweat so much. How about you?" Either your friends will tell you that he or she does not shower much, in which case you can encourage him or her to shower more often, OR your friend will lie but realize that he or she should be cleansing regularly.
The second is deodourant that is too weak. Some men and women sweat so much and so hard that run of the mill deodourant doesn't cut it. In this instance you can make a comment about how you sweat so much that you need to wear prescription deodourant [yes, it exists] and ask if your friend has over experienced that problem. It is always easier to admit to something embarrassing if you're not standing out there alone with your shame, not that body odour is shameful.
The third scenario has to do with eating habits. If your friend eatis a lot of curry, garlic, onions, and the like, this can cause him to emanate the scent of those foods. Next time you are with your friend, ask if he had curry/garlic/onions for dinner the night before. Make a joke of it, "Ya, I could tell. That stuff has a strong smell haha. Don't worry, I smell like curry for days after eating Indian food."
No matter which of the three categories your friend falls into, this will be a difficult subject to broach. Whether or not you feel comfortable bringing it up depends on how close you are to your friend and how sensitive he or she is. If you do not feel comfortable talking about it, you only have two options:
1. Suffer through the smell [and perhaps do not hang out with your friend in groups so others do not think that you are the source of the bad smell.]
2. Stop hanging out with your stinky friend.
Good luck--pbSrink
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Finding Your Own Lucky Charms
DEAR PBSHRINK: As a young dancer on the threshold of her career, I am face to face with the age-old life-lack of any artist - money! I badly need financial support for my upcoming travels and studies... do you have any suggestions as to how I could raise some funds?
-- BrokeasaJoke
DEAR BROKE: It is a difficult and expensive road to become a professional dancer and there is no pot of gold waiting for you at the end. However, one thing that will help you through is the support of your friends, family, and people you meet along the way. My advice to you is to hold a small gala before leaving your current city to embark on your journey abroad. Invite all those who have supported you [not just financially but emotionally] and put together a short dance piece to perform at the gala. You should also give a speech thanking everyone for being there for you during your studies and for helping you achieve your goals. You can serve wine and cheese [go to local shops, explain your purpose, and ask if they would like to contribute] and set up a donations box. It will be up to your guests how much they want to donate. Happy planning! --pbShrink
Saturday, May 22, 2010
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